Whew.

First open water swim of the season: done. Almost didn't do it, though. Patrick and I took the kids to the lake near our house last evening. I bought the kids new pails and shovels to keep them happy in the sand while pDowney and I took turns swimming the 500 meters swim course. I forgot how cute it is to watch a toddler discover walking on sand for the first time. Ellis had fun getting messy but was slightly stressed out by the terrain.

So it was decided that I would go first. I waded into the water. It wasn't too cold, so that was a plus. Immediately, I was overwhelmed by the greenery. I stood for another ten minutes thinking about it, and then turned around and walked out. At that moment in time, I was done with triathlons forever and ever. F this. I told Patrick to go first, hiding tears behind my goggles. He shrugged and mumbled something about how it's probably better once you get further out. I told him he had no idea, secretly hoping he would get tangled in an especially long branch and would have to thrash his way free.

He swam for quite a bit, while I chatted with my mini cheering section. My son put it in perspective for me when he pointed out that the plants couldn't hurt me because they don't have mouths (like the fish, for instance). My middle daughter's face is what convinced me to try again, though. I ask her multiple times a day to do things that she is obviously anxious about (taste vegetables, flush the toilet, talk to her teachers, etc.). How is it fair for me to give up on something when I push her so hard?

So, I swallowed my fear (and pretended I had just taken a swallow of Jack Daniels), and tried again. I was still super anxious for about the first 100 meters, swimmming half of it with my head above water, but once I calmed my breath down, I actually felt....good. I was angry at myself for wasting time during the first 100 meters with my head out of the water.

There were even moments in the lake that I, dare I say it, enjoyed myself. The sun was low in the sky, so ever time my head turned to the west, I could see the light filter through the green water. It shined like my favorite shade of green, and was kind of calming.

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